The Selfish Divorce

When my ex announced she was going to get remarried, I decided to post something about it on Facebook. No, this isn’t a story of a poorly considered FB post gone sour.

You can read the entire post in the following pages, but in essence what I said was:

I am so happy for her. She’s an amazing woman. I wish them both the very best for the future.

The comments, both online and offline, came pouring in. Some thought it was a joke. Some thought I was being sarcastic. Many simply couldn’t believe that you could “love” your ex.

I was interested in the response but I was also saddened. It is clear that so many people see their divorces as disasters and their exes as the devil. It doesn’t have to be that way.

My own divorce allowed both my ex, Sarah, and me to face the future unburdened by anger, resentment, bitterness, and even huge attorney fees. Our approach allowed us to move into the future with the possibility of being the best versions of ourselves.  This experience prompted me to write this book about the “selfish” divorce. As you’ll read, the selfish divorce isn’t what you think. It could easily be called the “selfless” divorce, because in the end, being selfless is adaptive and will lead to the best outcomes possible for you, your ex, and your children.

That said, here’s what to expect from The Selfish Divorce:

In the first five chapters of this book, I’ll tell you my life story, especially as it relates to relationships and marriage. At the end of each of these chapters, you’ll see a section called “In the Rearview Mirror: Life Lessons from My Journey.”  Some of these lessons have to do with relationships and some don’t. But they’re all things I’ve learned in the School of Hard Knocks—and if possible, I’d like to help prevent you from taking any of the “classes” I did.

Chapters Six through Nine of this book are more tactical advice-oriented. In them, I explain exactly what I mean by “selfish divorce” and make a case for why you should consider taking this route if your own marriage is ending. I also share advice to help you….


Greg W Anderson

The Architect of My Life